jump and jitter

jitterbug2 @ 2007-09-14T21:10:00

2007-09-15T02:09:52Z

my mother is an ass

good bye girls

2007-08-29T03:36:28Z

i have never been so hurt by what i used to call friends. if you have ever hung out with me, you would know my friends, im usually with them or have something positive to say about them... i meen up until now they have been there for me, in most cases... and i have been there for them too, whether they know it or not, i care deeply about them, i care so much that i honestly can say id take a bullet for them. i love them. and until now there were cracks... but we have always been able to repair them.. but now... this time, i guess i have chosen not to bring out the glue that has always heald us together..this time i crack that formed.. has erupted into a cannon that can never quite heal despite what ever effort may be put forth in the future. i am hurt deeply at the loss of what i will always consider to be four close friends. if you dont understand the situation that im comming from, then one word to describe it would betrail.. or maybe in two.. left out. i know.. more teenage girl dramma. but this one struck too close to home, my heart, and i feel i will never be able to be the same around them.
the story: on a friday night last few weeks even days of summer, i had called my friends that i hadnt gotten to see much this summmer.. i left messages, i called to talk, everything. i never got a phone call back but thats okay we all had bussy summers right? sorta. i guess theirs wasnt busy enough to plan a girls night out... my closest friends, with out me. it was big too, not just a movie and popcorn at rachels house or whatever.. it was dressed up, out to dinner and a fancy place and then party afterwards. cool what ever, i shouldnt really be surprised i guess... because this is the second one this year that i was left out of on purpose. i forgave and forgot the first time saying i was hurt but i glued the cracks and we were fine. but this time... im not so easy to forget you could say. it hurts. when your best friends since grade school turn like that and deliberatly leave you out. when i confronted them about it, one girl, some one i thought i was pretty close to... i had known her since we were in fourth grade and she lives in the neiborhood, lied to me straight out, saying she had been gone and didnt know about it till the few hours before... and i dont doubt she was gone. i know thats true... but im sure she knew long before that there may have been somthing. if not then why wouldnt you say somthing...i had always thought she had my back. i know i have always had hers wether she knows that or not. im there for my friends and i would never do anyhting to hurt them. anyway. then my best frined, or so i thought, i have known the girl since i was two, we shared so much growing up, vacations.. partys... even sickness. i almost considered her a sister. i would seriously die for her if that was what it came down to. but i guess she didnt feeel the same, because she was the one who started the whole girls night out idea... the biggest brain umong the scheem. thanks love ya girl... gr. anyway she too lied about the whole situation saying she didnt have time to call me, yet she had time to plan the whole thing and invite the other friend at last minute right?.. she also claimed that i didnt like the one girl and so that was why they didnt invite me. the truth.. yes somtimes i dont get along the best with her, but we have never had a fight, nor ever really hung out much.. not alone really. in truth i would probably die for her too... from what i know about her, she has always been kind to me, always made me laugh and acted like a real friend. anyway.. her story im not sure on, but its still hurtful to know i wasnt invited and not one of the girls can tell the fing truth about it.. everyone has their story so the blame cant be pined on them nor can the feel guilty of what occured. but honestly guys... thats it, im saying goodbye to all the drama.. all the lies... all the fake friendships and talking behind one anothers backs. thats why im not pulling out the glue to repair what has happened. why honestly tell me why would i want to stick around only to feel this hurt every time. i dont, im sick of it.. and yes i know about all the bitching about me, the Oh sarah is such a jerk... and this and that... , i have true and honest frineds that are really there for me when i need a hand, that are in the same classes and have heard it all. now i know i cant or shouldnt trust every word of it, because yes its probably been slightly skewed.. but today i heard one of the girls on i was espicially close to tell one of my guy friends that i was mean and awful... and that hurt.. i was right there right behind you. thanks neiborhood friend. also to the girl who i used to admire for her trustworthness, and her ability to make me laugh no matter what, the girl i was so close to that one summer before freshman year or was it eighth. what ever, thanks for being i guess the word is turthful, on your thoughts about me. atleast i know how you feel and that i can never be around you without feeling insanely uncomfortable around you. infact thats it ... all four of the girls.. i dont think i can ever feel the same about any of you... i belive id still stand up for you, because i did that just today. im sorry for losing you all. it was nice i guess, but what you did has made me feel that this was it, the last straw... it will never be the same between any of us. .. and to the girl i called my best friend for so long... dont ever ask me to choose between you or my boyfriend because thank god i have him he is my best friend and he is there for me no matter what seriously. .. so dont ask me to choose because you will always loose.
goodbye girls.
sarah

jitterbug2 @ 2007-03-09T21:15:00

2007-03-10T03:19:40Z

wow, today was amazing. or atleast the boys track meet. i saw rick and nathan and dan and chris and joe compeet.. i think joe got 7'6"... chirs 8"... dan 8"...rick 9"... and nathan 12" crap thats high. wow, congratulations guys.. though you will never read this lol, what ever. this is now just for me, to put down everything with out anyone looking, of course some one may stumble upon it... but yeah it was soo cool. im glad i got to watch it. i dont really feel like typing anything else tonight. so i think im going to go to bed. good night.
always-
sarah

jitterbug2 @ 2007-03-08T18:57:00

2007-03-09T01:01:54Z

hey, glad to say.. today was a good day. yeah, cant think of much that really brought it down.. i mean other than the usual. school.lack of sleep.dumb so called friends.weight.mother.bloodsuggar. other than that my day was fantastic. i felt pretty good the whole time. im glad. anyway... yeah but i am still worried about my eye.. i still cant see out of the center.. its like a grey spot that wont go away that covers everything so i cant see whats in it.. im scared. but then today when i was driving.. it started to become like pixleized... like little black squares. weird huh. im scared, i guess thats life though, just another curve ball right.
last night when rick was over, he told me i was a really negative person. and i know i am.. but i didnt quite relize just how much. i guess quite alot. im very negative. eh, id like to work on that. that would be a good thing to work on right? yeah. i think so...

be more positive.

jitterbug2 @ 2007-03-07T19:44:00

2007-03-08T01:46:42Z

hey, feeling bery lost.. i wish i could say why.. actually i can.. i think i have been hanging around with only rick too often. i need to find my old friends. i miss them and i miss summer. i want my life back, can you help me?
i am so disconnected these days, i love rick to death, but i cant go on like this forever. i want to spend every moment of my time with the boy, but i find myself needing some time with the whole gang. i miss them all. i also find myself missing my old gang. chis, vashti, nathan, sarah, are there others> yes, even nosek. i pass him in the halls sometimes, and wonder... gtg.. he is here till later byes

hero

2007-02-25T07:30:36Z

what is a hero really?
a hero, somthing we creat in our minds,
in a time of need... somthing we make up...
so that maybe we can belive.
someone to lean our heads on...
someone, to catch us when we fall.
but are they really heros at all?
no.
just buddys
... fallen.. friends.
because heros never die.
its them in the photograph...
showing though the silver salts.
memories, to tack on a wall..
they are our brothers
because heros never fall.
so do they exist?
are they really real at all?
no, they are just
our friends,
our neibors,
our brothers..
because heros never fall.

jitterbug2 @ 2006-05-26T22:53:00

2006-05-27T04:10:34Z

wow its been a while, how is everyone... i dont feel like i know anyone anymore.. i think tonight, i wont go into life.. because i prefer not to dig deap, into what seems like a bottom-less black hole.
well yeah, so school is almost out, and then summmmmmer! wow im so exited it will be so much fun. what is everyone going to be doing?

i know know one goes here any more, but everyone have fun and enjoy the break!

byes always~
sarah

jitterbug2 @ 2005-10-22T10:46:00

2005-10-22T16:01:38Z

hello,

so i kinda got side tracked from this whole writing in places thing.. and so i guess ill write a little entry..

um so school started again, wich is ok i guess.. i just hate all the work it requires. um sports are starting, gymnastics season starts in like a week, im nervous for that, but very excited about it. that should be fun for when we get to see eachother again. umm.. oh i now have a job. its alot of fun, i work on the weekends at the napervill gymnastics center, i run birthday parties for little kids, tons of fun, and its pritty good pay i would say. what else... oh home comming happened...like a few weeks ago, that was alot of fun, everyone looked really pritty in their dresses, and guys in well what ever they were wearing. the pics were ok from what i saw. um.. what else is going on.. oh um im now teaching on suday mornings at my church aparently, so thats fun too. and oh i think im going to japan.. like sometime over spring break. that should be super cool if that actually does happen, i dont know for sure that it will yet though, my mom has a tendncy to say stuf that doesnt ever happen. so ill keep my fingers crossed. um.. for now im not driving, but pritty much everyone knows about that, so no need in telling. um, i really dont have anything interesting going on in my life right now, other than the usual gymnastics, and yea thats it. congradulations to vashti for her licens! thats awsome girly, have fun. um... i dont think i have anything else to write really , not anything worth the words any way. so i think im going to go off and do some home work, i tend to have alot of that lately. so ill get going on that. hope everyone is doing well. talk to you all later posibly.

smile always,

sar~

jitterbug2 @ 2005-08-06T23:51:00

2005-08-07T05:09:04Z

hello. its been a while since i have been here.
and i have so much to say.. but i dont know how to put it.. so i dont think any of it will be put in here.. we will see.
so how is every one.. havent talked to alot of people in a while..eeep.
well um.. school will be starting too soon... like 20 days or well lessish...i refuse to count now. i dont want school.. just give me another like two months to putts around .. do nothing while doing everying.. and so i can finaly work some things out.. uuuuhhhhgggg. i also dont wanna go to school... well cuz every one will be driving... soon.. and i know this is shallow.. but i want to sooo bad and im so jellous and anoyed now.. but i brought it upon my self.. nothing i cant do now. gar some times life bites like no other..humph.
so yea umm...i just got back from maine last night .. that was amazing.. and i wish i could live there.. i wanna move .. kinda... like away from this mess i put upon my self.. it was amazing up there. i took so many picutres.. i really like photography. i dont know.
um.. here is where i want to put somthing.. but cant find the words to say it... without being irational.. over dramatic.. or what ever else people say. so i wont say it .. i guess. i dont know.
well yea so life is pritty good.. hope every one else is doing well.
i guess ill talk to you later.. sometime..
night.
sarah

jitterbug2 @ 2005-06-12T20:39:00

2005-06-13T01:39:22Z

You are a Folkie. Good for you.

What kind of Sixties Person are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

jitterbug2 @ 2005-05-30T18:19:00

2005-05-30T23:20:33Z

nathans here and we are playing mancala. its this really cool african game. swweet

...well now we are going to go wander off some place..the park..

the dog just spit up on nathans shirt..or slobbered...lol

byes

jitterbug2 @ 2005-05-29T22:31:00

2005-05-30T03:32:09Z

and i remember when she was young
she was a dadys girl
we spent every evening together..
playing monopoli, or go fish.
i remember the movies
i remember the first fishing trip we went on together. boy could she catch a fish. showed her old man up she did. that foot had to have been two feet long. darn thing almost pulled her into the water. those were the good old days. i used to take her and suzie down to the lake every sunday afternoon, where they would jump and swing on ropes from the trees into the pond down yonder. boy i can tell you those were the good old days. but now my little girls all grown up. she's a spitting image of her mother she is. when i look at her in that dress i see her mother. look at her son. no woman has ever looked so beautiful, so stunning as she does right now. and now im lettng my little baby go, and i cant help but relize that smile, just lights up the room. now dosnt it boy. son i want you to take good care of my baby. she is all i got left in this wold to live for. and i dont want to see anything happen to her. son you take care of my baby. you take care of her.~ a father on his daughters wedding day.~

jitterbug2 @ 2005-05-28T21:53:00

2005-05-29T03:06:46Z

wow its been a while since i have been here..alot has happened..but im not sure what to write about. i just got finished watching finding never land. that was a really good movie. very sad too. gave me a few tears. so yea track is done...i miss that alot. i really miss it. it was really cool to have somthing after school every day. well i was going to the weight room after school every day..but after that one day i just got freeked i spose. that and i feel funny with all those guys..it like almost embarising being the only girl in there..with like twenty other guys, and they arnt even in my grade like most are jounors and seniors. i dont know if some one would come with me that would be cool..that and then there woulnd have to be any more creep..os...oh well so yea now im jsut running in the evenings and my feet show...i have discusting blisters all over my feet. they dont hurt too much..but they just look icky...not exactly flip flop fun... but yea..it would be nice to find some one to run with too..that would be cool. that and my mom is bugging me about running alone and like at dusk..what ever i dont care. i dont know what to write about..finals?..that is gunna suck..and im going to bomb all of them..i plan to study some tomarrow..and finish home work..flipping teachers..dont they get it..i just wanna be a kid and be out siide..not spening hours of my life that i will never get back..doing there flipping work sheets and papers and crap..cant they just teach a little and one teacher each day..they can take turns..can give home work. that would be nice....yea so...um..here..somting to look at..more like boring words..

~never never land~

some times when you can not see..

you must use your heart and believe

in faries, pixies, angles, spirts..

in a place of magic,

in a world of make believe..

some where beyond the imagination

there lies a place where laughter

swoops you off your feet so you may fly..

where smiles spread like wild fire..

where pixies play..

and idnians roam the land..

where pirets sail the seven seas..

in their flying ships of glow..

where mermaids splash and swim all day..

some where behind the imangination

you will find a magnificent land

where girls and boys never, never, grow up....

never never land..

how do you get there?

why simple of course..

all you have to do is believe.

yea so there you go..um..i think im going to bed now..so good night every one.

always and forever~

sarah~

jitterbug2 @ 2005-05-07T00:34:00

2005-05-07T05:34:56Z

You are a Sarah. You are very nice, very funny,
very hyper, very strong, and very pretty. You
can however get a little crazy but nobody
minds.(You don't like pictures)
i just took this quiz made by nosek and lissy like a year ago...i found it on one of nathans old lj's...nice guys..lol

jitterbug2 @ 2005-05-04T21:43:00

2005-05-05T03:14:41Z

ok so you know how those days go...bad day and crap..well it wasnt like the horible im gunna go shoot my self days but yea jsut not the best of all days. but yea so any ways i come home from track to what..a devil. i come home to my mom bitching to me about the world. she is just a really bitchy mood for no reason known to man kind, and i got the beautiful gift of the guilt speech on how i shouldnt be liveing and how im the biggest ass hole ever created. i hate those speeches..but then again every one does. so yea then she got on my back about being ir-responsible..at wich i dont deny...because its true but i just hate hereing it. so then she went downt the road of the only reson she told me that i was going to take drivers ed during the summer was so i wouldnt sign up for it durning the year. and now im not aloud to drive till im out of school witch wont be until im 50. but fine i dont need to drive right. not where im going any ways..im now aparently going to bording school. and they arnt kidding. good. now i wont have to deal with her. no more school pressure. no more wories about stupid stuf. im done i can drop out and i wont have to worie about anything any more. ill just quit.and once im done at where ever she plans on sending me then she can just shoot me because im sure thats exactly what she would want to do. im sure that she would love to have me dead. she cant wait. so yea she goes on with the guilt speech of how i shouldnt ever have been born and i was a mistake and im the daughter of the devil...wich in reality its this witch that is talking to me aoubt this crap. i just wish i could shove somthing in her mouth so she would shut her face! ...so now she is bitching to my dad on how im a horible daughter and that they really should have given me up for adoption when they had the chance. and that my grandmother was right about me...i would be nothing but trouble and problems...that i would only make the lives of those around me miserable. and that life with me = hell and worse. she then went on to the tangent on how im sooo mean to every one around me and that i dont have any friends and that every one around me is so sweet and that i use people and ever one wants me dead. well if that is so then fine no big deal im sorry. but she then went on to the part of how i dont give a shit about any one else in my life and i take every one for granted. witch i dont deny either...i do take alot in life for granted and i feel bad about that. but i once again dont need to here it from her!...if she would just shut her face every thing would be fine. but no she blows every thing way way way out of praportion and is just stupid. she treats this family like shit...witch was her words for me. but yea today was just bad...i wasnt home all day and i come home to her bitching about everything. i think she is going through medapaws...or adlest i hope so cuz she is driving me insane!!!!!!!....some one ask there parents if i can move it with one of you for a little while or till she dies of a heart atack...or somthing that will cause her to need to be sent away for what ever reason..like let her grow 2 more arms and get her face alll zity and let her smeell so foul that she has to be sent to the ugly island....lol that would be funy...well any ways i think im going to go to bed and or try to beg and plead at her feet and lick the floor clean so that i can have a ride to school early...i really need help on some math and science but i wont get one because she is a monster!....if i dont get one then im walking and ill be late for schoool...witch will just be really bad. so i hope it all turns out...eek. well good night all...i hope your day was better than mine..

love always~~ sarah~~

jitterbug2 @ 2005-05-01T08:03:00

2005-05-01T13:04:19Z

to many people fall for no reason...

sigh..

2005-05-01T05:55:29Z

dear wally~
im here writing to you again because i cant sleep. i was in a day dreamish thing and my world inside and out fell apart. the whole time (while in the dream) i felt so totaly worthless, every thing i did or tryed to do fell apart. nothing seemed to matter and every one around me lost grip of me. i woke up feeling utterly week minded and started to some what sob..im such a retarded baby..i hate crying about worthless things such as my self. like my dream was reality. but i know it wasnt. i suddenly felt very heavy and dizy with feer and random thoughts that i wish could only disipate into the darkness of the room. i asked myself questions of my self. i asked if life was real. was i really ment to be here?..i know this sounds over reactive and totaly stupid, but i for a short moment felt i should just find a way to die. becuase no one would care. no one would even notice. no one needs me. i dont matter, im worthless, im total crap. i live a lie, this shouldnt be me, im stupid. i gave my self a million and two reasons why i shouldnt be here. why should i live when there are millions and millons of children and people out there wanting more than anything to get a second chance at life for one reason or another, some have cancer, others need kidney transplants, and some are dieing from lack of an organ or blood or whatever it might be. why should i have the privlige of living and screwing up this wonderful life. im a life wasted. god wasted a life on me. and though this may not be true, i question it at this moment. i dont know why i am but i am. i just feel a rapid and heavy pull on myself by somthing. i feel like im not good enough. i look at every one else and see how truyly amazing they are and i cant find myself to say to myself... that yes i too could be amazing if i didnt screw it up all the time. if i maybe thought for once in my life time. if maybe just maybe i didnt act like a total freek on fake happy pills or i dont know what to describe my own retarded actions as... maybe i could do somthing right for a change. but i dont know somting about that dream was weird. sarah was there again. sarah beth. she came back to me once again. and when i was awake and questioning my existance..i thought of her. why did god only give me diabettes and give her cancer. why would he be so crule as to let her die in such horible painful ways. why did i have to live. why couldnt i give her my life. why cant i trade her life for cancer. becuase i would do it in a heart beat. i would give life to her if i could. because no one.. no one should ever ever have to die at such a youn age. she wasnt even given the chance. she was what..all of like 2 months..probly less. sarah beth was born with cancer. she sufferd a horible short life. her damn family left her there to die. why did god deal her such a horible beginnings end. why didnt he even give her the chance. she should have lived not me. there i was three and a half years old and well as could be and she was less than 2 months dieing. i was jumping up and down on the bed playing and gigling. and she was lying there crying in pain from the lukeemia treetment. i had a loving mother and father there to care for my ever tiny need. and sarah had no one. she was alone. alone with no family. they had left her in the hospital to die. her parents didnt know what to do. they just left her there. and there she lyed crying and screeming in pain only wanting some one to hold her. some one to say her name. someone. anyone. but there was no one to hold her no one to care for her. she was alone. why didnt god give her the chance to live. why did she have to die.why? and here i am today screwing up things and just making a fool out of life, taking everything in it for grated...when sarah died before ever getting a chance to have her first icecream, before haveing a birthday, befor ever getting to speek to some one about how she really felt or how much she wanted to be held in her mothers arms and here her name. i dont know if a child that young can think to that extent but i do know that a child that you needs some one. every one needs someone. all she wanted was some one to hold her. she would lie there crying all day and night just wanting some one to hold her. and for probly the pain to stop. and it did eventualy i would presume. i will never know for sure that she died. becuase i was not family the hospital wouldnt release any information on her survival. but im unfortuantly sure that she did infact die. why would god be so cruel as to kill such a young and inosent creature? why didnt he take me.??? why did she have to die??!!!~~ i dont know why i had this randome flow of thoughts tonight. for i had a wonderful day. but i did and wally it has now carryed on to you, where i may despence this stupid flow of ramdomness. for what ever reason she comes to me sometimes..im glad she does. she helps me relize thing in life that i dont know i normaly would. although in times and dreams like tonight i spose that it isnt good. but i think i will go try to reason with my twisted(at the moment) mind and go back to sleep. wally you may see me here again tonight. but untill then ill just go back to my sheets and hopefuly dream a new dream. good night~

jitterbug2 @ 2005-04-27T18:30:00

2005-04-27T23:40:52Z

ok i was dreaming and i dont know but i thought of some thing...like a phrase-ish thing...its like i was dreaming about this girl..and well if any of you have ever spoken to me about her...her name is

Sarah Beth..then you will know what im talking about...and you will know how sad the story really is. but any way she came back to me again in my dreams like she does sometimes and we were talking and then she gave me this and said i should keep by this...

EVERY TEAR SHED..

ANOTHER ONE DEAD..

EVERY STEP TAKEN..

ANOTHER ONE STRONG..

and well she told me the meening..and this is what she told me. it meens that you should stop and cry about things it wont healp anyone. but if you stay strong and go on..and you keep taking steeps to find the cure..well then one day that cure will be found and then every one will be some day strong. in the end of my dream she also told me to keep smileing and never never never give up hope.~ if any of you are confused on this...well you can ask me about Sarah Beth..i dont know much..execpt for some of her story. ...and yea i know this little message is dumb and stupid..but i dont know i just randomly had to put it some where..so here it is.

jitterbug2 @ 2005-04-24T10:48:00

2005-04-24T16:05:13Z

peple are like geodes...

you should treat every stone like a person,

because you never know when your going

to find some one as special as that rare geode.

people are like these special stones

both are to be tresured as a beautiful creation

that only god, himself could have given.

treat every stone in the same awing manner,

because you never know when you are going

to find that one special geode.

a geode is like a human.

it looks and feels the same as the next rock you might find.

but when you crack it open you will see a magnificent sceen.

how could a simple every day gray stone on the out side

be broken open and inside hold an earthly treasure.

geodes are like humans.

if you judge a person the way you judge a rock

you will never see the true beauty of gods creations.

because from the out side you may only see

a friend, family member, neighbor,

or someone walking past you on the street on some drery tusday afternoon.

people are like stones..

you should treasure each one as you would a geode

because you never know when your going to find that special one.~~

ill edit later...~~

jitterbug2 @ 2005-04-18T21:02:00

2005-04-19T02:03:19Z

if it were up to me...

the world would be one unite

the hungry would be fed

the poor would have jobs

with money to spare.

if it were up to me..

people wouldnt be meen

and distructive...

and words would not

hurt so much.

if it were up to me...

summer would stay

the stars would be seen

from every view point

the sun would bring smiles

not skin cancer

if it were up to me...

life would meen peace

with people

with god

with earth

with our selves

if it were up to me...

wepons and drugs

would be unknown.

if it were up to me..

the sick would be well

there would be a cure

for every posible disease

if it were up to me..

the elderly wouldnt exist

one would only be as old

as they think they are.

if it were up to me..

color

religion

beliefs

sex

age

genious

beauty or uglyness

would not be discriminated.

if it were up to me..

every one would have

equal rights..

life wouldnt have such harsh

consiquinces..

if it were up to me..

people would be happy

and life would be a little easer.

if it were only up to me.

jitterbug2 @ 2005-04-14T19:09:00

2005-04-15T00:16:31Z

late last night i was just passen by.

looken through your window to see if you were alright

even tho we are in a fight.

cuz baby i still love you

i still wanna be the one to hold you

to kiss you good night.

baby i still love you...yea.

when i look into your face

i see my children in your eyes.

i can see them playing..

dance'n in the rain...

slish spalshen around...

cuz baby i love you

more you will ever know.

no words can describe..

my love to you.

nothing can ever fill your place.

i love you more now than i ever have.

.....ill add more later...byes...

jitterbug2 @ 2005-04-13T22:33:00

2005-04-14T03:34:12Z

i dont know why you say good bye...i say hello!!

jitterbug2 @ 2005-04-08T22:57:00

2005-04-09T04:21:38Z

today i watched the weal chair basketball game...yea that was really cool. im glad i went to it...alot has happend that i dont bother to put in here i realize...and guess what ...im not gunna put it here...so hahhaha...you lose!!..or do i??,,,hmmm..

well yea...this song is really good well songs...there by this girl ...name...i think is jewl...and its really good ...i think her songs have been out there for a lil while but there very good. ah yes..so what shall i talk about?...any ideas?...i wrote a poem in gym yesterday..and i dont know if i like it or not..so i still have to deciede that.<<dont know how to spell decide>>..umm yea so i was just thinking of this ...what would i do if i were president..?...well i think my answer to my self would be that...i would eat and eat and eat until i was masivly enomous...and could no longer move and then a huge crane had to lift me out and then some one else could worrie about all the political crap<< this whole "fat" and masivly enoumous thing is from gymnsatics...i miss you girls..like the every day hang out..that was so much fun...SUNDAY!! CANT WAIT TILL OPEN GYM...so yea that will be fun...

whats the best thing that happend to you doday?...>> please answer ..i would like to know..mine was ...hmm...goofing off in the football feild.yea!!....

oh i had like a supper embarising moment today...omg that was bad...im to scared to even say it...hahaa...ahhhahhhahhhhahhhhhahhhhhahhhhhahhhhhahhhhhhhahhhhhhhahhhhhahhh>>screams..

~ eyes torn open

blood shot red

as they see the

world around them.

tears choke up

and pour like

rivers.

as the sadness

sinks in, but

feer holds

with in...

shaterd like glass

veins crack

and start to blead.

the river now runs

RED.

black as night

the puples expand

as the feer tightens its

GRIP.

it holds on

through shadows

and secret sounds.

it sinks into the

back of your mind.

blinded by the

flashing lights

as the world goes

BLACK.

and as the stining

eyes struggle to see

the final tear falls.

red and wet

it slides down

the dirty cheek,

until it hits the ground.

shut down

they gave up

and lost the war

with in...

blindness creeps over

and all came to a final

peace.~

yea....this is what i wrote in gym...and yea nei thought i was a crazy person...but i dont know...maybe..maybe not...do you think so?

well im gunna go to bed...good night...love you all always...byes...

jitterbug2 @ 2005-04-03T21:08:00

2005-04-04T02:16:47Z

today was cool...i went on a bike//waling ride ish thingy....today ...yea it was alot of fun...then we went to black well and walked around and skiped stones!!...i finaly did that today...one skip then plop..but im learning... so yea then we climbed the hill and watched the sun set...wow that was gorgous!~!!!!! i want to go do that again but maybe when its a little warmer...hehe...but yea ...( lets see how horiblely sara can right this not thing...) but yea...im gunna go i think byes!

jitterbug2 @ 2005-04-03T11:22:00

2005-04-03T16:23:59Z

DO THE LOBSTER ROCK!!~~ ahh i got burned at the meet...haha...im a lobster...yea!!??